I had over half of a post written about my struggle to believe in God’s love in my singleness, and it was positive and great! I was looking forward to writing the rest. I even had a great outfit day (lots of compliments aka outfit confirmations), a perfect side braid day, and a coffee meeting that involved a PSL.

And then…

I got pulled over for speeding. Yes, wrong. But I didn’t actually know I was speeding or what the speed limit was. 44 in a 30. All my fault. But I got a ticket. Was late meeting the people I invited over to my apartment to watch the season premieres of two long anticipated shows. Then discovered I no longer have the channel that the show plays on. THEN I realized I wore a price tag connected to my shirt under my armpit ALL DAY.

And so, I’m not nearly as positive as I was earlier. Is it the end of the world? No, obviously! But I know my post about being loved and single has so much more potential with me in a good mood, so I’m delaying it. The past me must have known the future me was about to have a stinky evening because I was drawn in by the marketing genius to get the Taylor Swift edition Diet Cokes. I mean Taylor Swift + a cute tall can + Diet Coke = WIN! I also happened to pick up some Reese’s pumpkins. So when I got home, I let my self shed a tear or two, found another show to watch, ate a Reese’s pumpkin, and had a fancy Diet Coke! The writing on the box got my attention when I got home (after all the chaos).

“If you’re lucky enough to be different, don’t ever change.” Thanks Taylor. I needed to be reminded that in all my craziness of crying and freaking out about a ticket and a TV show for teenagers, wearing a price tag on my cute shirt all day, and buying Diet Coke just because it has Taylor Swift’s name on it even though I’m 30, that I’m still lovable. Being reminded that my craziness is okay, also lead me to be reminded that regardless of how my crabby mood could most definitely probably make every person I know decide not to like me, God still loves me.

Though it may be a small thing, it’s a big thing for me. My brain is a little crazy, if I haven’t mentioned that enough in these few paragraphs, so the fact that I went from thinking I should minimize my people intake so I don’t make people hate me to a happy thought about God still loving me is a big deal! Instead of defaulting to my old way of thinking and processing to allow something like getting a speeding ticket to lead me into a place of self condemnation and dislike, a night of sadness, and convincing myself that no one, friends, family, myself, or God should like me, let alone love me, I was [almost] instantly reminded that God loves me, people love me, and I love me (not in spite of all the things that make me “lucky enough to be different” but because of them, because God loves me, and more)!

My spirits were lifted. I was still a little bit mad at that dang cop (how dare he do his job!?), but I enjoyed my fancy diet coke, got in comfy clothes, chose to write about singleness when I wasn’t mad at a cop, indulged in a little chocolate treat, and watched some feel good TV (thanks Glee for NOT playing the Finn episode tonight, couldn’t have handled it!).

God often uses things like Taylor Swift Diet Coke quotes, TV commercials, Dr. Seuss, and many more oddities, to remind me of truths about Him, and I’ll never be sad about that. Just more proof that God knows me and how my brain works and loves me. Taylor’s Diet Coke quote, reminds me of some ever familiar scriptures in Psalms and Luke.

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them. If I would count them, they are more than sand. I awake, and I am still with you.” (Psalm 139: 13-18, ESV)

All the bold emphasis is obviously added my me. But these parts I added bold emphasis to, they stick out to me. They speak to me. Not in a way that I’m translating them from the original language and deciphering the meaning of each word (so thankful people can and do that). But in a way my heart and imagination, the heart and imagination God gave me, see them for me. Why?

“You formed” – HE took the time to form and create ME! And He loves me.

“You knitted me together in my mother’s womb” – I’d like to think it took a little extra work to knit together such a beautiful baby girl (I was a stinking cute baby!) in the womb of a drug addicted mother (whom I do love dearly despite many of her life choices) that was the a combination of DNA from another drug addict and alcoholic (my dad, whom I love more than anything, miss every day, and rejoice that Jesus saved and changed him before he died) who was given then name Kasia (a “lucky enough to be different” kind of name). And He loves me.

“fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your work” – Me. Loved. Cherished. Special. Fearfully and WONDERFULLY made. His works are wonderful. I am His work. I am wonderful. And He loves me.

“My frame was not hidden from you” – My frame. My specific frame that often causes me to doubt my ability to be loved. My frame, one that isn’t skinny. It wasn’t, it isn’t, hidden from Him and He loves it and me.

“intricately woven” – Every detail. Every mannerism. Every last freckle, bad eye, crooked tooth, and quirk. And He loves me.

“the days that were formed for me” – Even the days that I get speeding tickets and have a crabby mood. Even the days that I don’t think I can make it through like the upcoming year anniversary of my dad’s death. He knew them. He knows them. And He loves me.

“Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.” (Luke 12:7, ESV)

And I have a lot of hair guys. I don’t know if I have more hair or freckles. But He knows the number. Every one. He even knows the number of worlds I ramble on and on about and type on and on about. I can’t keep up. Can you? And He loves me. And He loves you.

For the month of October, I’m participating in The Nester’s #31Days blog writing challenge. My topic is Food for Thought. I’ll be writing about two main things. 1. Understanding and believing God’s love. 2. Making life in the kitchen more manageable. You can read all my #31Days posts here. 

As mentioned yesterday, I’m participating in the #31days challenge to write about a specific(ish) thing for all of October and I have chosen to do a series called Food for Thought. I’ll rotate between talking about ways to make life in the kitchen more manageable and inviting you on the journey with me to actually learn to irrevocably believe God unconditionally loves me.

“Why kitchen?”,  is simple! I couldn’t go 31 days without posting about things that happen in my kitchen. I am a food blogger. I love the kitchen. I want you to love it too. Several faithful readers requested time management and practical tips.

But why love?

“Knowing” God loves me has been something I’ve “known” for a long time. Though I didn’t grow up in a Christian home, I did grow up in church. Most children who grew up in church can sing the words, “Yes! Jesus loves me,” before they even know how to read. I’ve known for a while that actually BELIEVING God loves me has been a struggle for a me. I wholeheartedly believe He loves YOU. I just struggle with the concept of unconditional love, self condemnation, and believing that He can and does love me. I KNOW logically, Biblicaly, and in my brain that He does. But I don’t always believe that He does. It’s something I’ve talked through with my former counselor and mentors many times.

I was helping implement an event for women this past weekend with the non-profit women’s ministry organization I’m part of and passionate about, Total Woman U. The theme for our event was Dare to Believe. Even though I was busy with helping make sure the event ran smoothly, I wanted to walk away from the weekend daring to believe something. Little did I know it would be love. One of the simplest things to know and understand about God, but one of the most complex things for me to “get.”

The very last session by the very last speaker had me holding back a total weep fest. She talked about God’s love and her journey of discovering and believing He loved her. She called herself, and all of us, His favorite. She pointed out that John 3:16 doesn’t say, “For God was so fed up with the world, that he gave his only son.” It says, “For God so LOVED the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”

I’ve had that verse memorized for so long that I don’t remember ever NOT remembering it! It never hit me like it did this past Saturday, sitting there, swallowing the lump in my throat to keep from ugly crying, steadily wiping tears from my eyes, as a 30 year old woman. I’ve probably been able to quote that verse for at least 75% of my life. I’ve always been moved by Jesus’ sacrifice in dying for me and God’s sacrifice in giving His only son. And my head has always known it was because He loved me, but in that moment it rocked me to the deepest part of my heart, that HE LOVES ME!

She also said that He loves His children (ME) so much that He even takes our mistakes, failures, and the ways others try to harm us and mean for bad and uses it for good. So love. That’s why. I need to take this journey of daring to believe God loves me. As simple as it is, it’s where I am. I need to process it. I need to live in it. And what better way than the accountability of 31 days? It might be rambly. Some days will DEFINITELY be shorter than this. It might be super honest and raw. Sometimes, it might not even make sense, but I think in the end, it will be beautiful. Thanks for reading.

For the month of October, I’m participating in The Nester’s #31Days blog writing challenge. My topic is Food for Thought. I’ll be writing about two main things. 1. Understanding and believing God’s love. 2. Making life in the kitchen more manageable. You can read all my #31Days posts here. 

I kept hearing (seeing?) about this #31days all day today on Twitter. That little thing started to happen to my insides. That excitement/bubbling/nervous/freaking out/scared challenging fear thing. You know, the feeling when you’re terrified, but you know it’s the good kind of fear that pushes you to do something you know you can do but are scared to do?

I was already feeling pretty inspired by all my blogging world friends, but when my real life blogging friend Jessica over at Meet the Magnolias decided to do it, it was just the push I needed to jump off the diving board.

And so it’s official! I’m linking up with thenester.com and probably over a thousand other bloggers (Literally! They had 1,200 last year.) to participate in the 31 day writing challenge. It’s a challenge to write about a specific (ish) topic every day for 31 days. My mind started to rush with a million different things I could specifically write about, but I just couldn’t decided between two!

After helping with a women’s conference this weekend and being  completed challenged to dare to believe that God really, wholeheartedly, absolutely loves me, I couldn’t get the idea out of my head to walk through that journey with you, a journey of believing.

Being primarily a food blogger, I also sort of felt like I was cheating on my blog if I went 31 days without posting about food! So I keep thinking of ideas/tips for the kitchen to make being in the kitchen more simple. How does a girl chose between the two?!

Well, she doesn’t! As I was having a freak out moment with Jess about wanting to do it but being unable to decide, she encouraged me to do both and even suggested a title that worked perfectly with combining the two. And so, for the next 31 days (I HOPE), I will be blogging about “Food for Thought,” alternating between talking about God’s love, and ways to make the kitchen “easier.”

I’d also like to add, I’m doing this for a few reasons! 1. I’ve been out of the blogging pattern. I want to be more consistent. 2. I’m supposed to be helping Total Woman U (the non-profit women’s ministry team I’m on the faculty for) write a book and blog! Key work on SUPPOSED. I’ve not been as good about blogging about specific things, I tend to be a seat of the pants kind of topic blogger. 3. I challenged myself this weekend to really dwell in daring to believe that God loves me unconditionally, and what better way to follow through on that challenge than the accountability of writing about it. 4. Writing is therapeutic for me! I want to be better about developing the daily pattern of doing it. 5. If I want to write a book one day, I need practice! 6. It ill be a fun way to play catch up on my goal to post 100 times this year (I’m WAY behind). 7. It’s for the month of October! My favorite month of the entire year. What better time to believe I can do something than now.

And so join me on this journey! Let’s learn a lot together.

Day 1: Why Love?
Day 2: Making the Kitchen Manageable Part 1 – Meal Planning
Day 3: Love and Bad Moods
Day 4: Fall To-Do List
Day 5: Love Defined
Day 6: Meal Planning 101: Week 41
Day 7: My Favorite Day
Day 8: Confession: Sometimes You Need a Break (and sleep)

Today I’m participating in a Link Up with Mississippi Women Bloggers! I’m so happy to be part of Mississippi Women Bloggers and to know there are so many wonderful women in my state blogging. Bloggers have a way of feeling connected to people. I’d venture to say most bloggers would have the connectedness strength pretty high on their list if they all took StrengthsFinder. I love the opportunity and chance to go deeper and get to know my fellow bloggers better, as well as letting my readers know me a little more. Tell me about you! Let’s have coffee or chat sometime. I love getting to know people and their stories.

 

1. What part of Mississippi are you from? Childhood days from Monticello, Mississippi. I currently (and proudly) call Clinton, Mississippi home. 
2. How long have you been blogging? In my college days, back in 2003-2006, I proudly participated in the Xanga craze. I started this blog in 2009. So technically I’ve been blogging since 2003, 13 years! But I’ve been blogging semi regularly since 2009 (4 year), and fairly seriously and regularly for 2 years. 
3. Why did you start blogging? In college I started a Xanga because everyone was doing it! In 2009 I started blogging because I lived with a roommate that terrified me, had my first grown up job, and didn’t have many friends. I wanted a way to feel connected. I kept blogging and started blogging more for a few reasons: A. I love writing! It’s stress relief for me. B. I realized people actually wanted my recipes and meal plans. C. I realized I had a chance to be transparent and vulnerable about real things in my life that could help other people too (the weight loss struggle/journey and grief). 
4. Tell us what we can expect when reading your blog. Well, if you haven’t noticed yet, FOOD! Food, recipes, and meal planning are what the majority of my posts are about. I occasionally share my heart about the grief process, healing, and my journey to try and love Jesus more and learn to let him love me more. I also like nail polish, hair, fashion, and DIY project a whole lot and they often make an appearance in my posts. 
5. What does your blog title means? My kitchen is where I live. It’s where I cook, it’s where I plan meals, it’s where I do DIY projects, it’s where I like to be with people! 
6. What do you love about being part of Mississippi Women Bloggers? I mentioned it above, but connectedness! I love the idea of all the women in the under appreciated state of Mississippi who love to write (and are good at it, in the state where people think we can’t read) being connected to each other. 
7. Who inspires you to blog? Joy the Baker is my absolute favorite food blogger. When I discovered her blog, the way I blog about food was transformed. I learned how to take pictures better because of her. I learned how to incorporate stories with recipes because of her. Loving her blog also lead me to discovered SO many other great blogs out there. Loving blogs, blogging, and bloggers lead me to the Influence Network! And now, ever more than Joy the Baker, the Influence Network inspires me. The Influence Network inspires me because it reminds me the Jesus is my ultimate inspiration. 
8. If you could pick a favorite blog post from this past year, what would it be? Hard one! I would have to pick the post I wrote about Celebrating Victories. “Let’s celebrate victories guys! Every small victory that isn’t small at all. Looking in the mirror and loving who you see before you, VICTORY! Not believing the lies that Satan (it’s him, it’s really him) tells you about yourself, VICTORY! Getting up early to spend time with Jesus when before you “never had enough time,” VICTORY! Asking for forgiveness, forgiving yourself, accepting grace that none of us deserve but get instead of living in self-condemnation, VICTORY! Choosing to grieve losses in a healthy way instead of letting yourself get numb and avoidance, victory, big, huge, not small at all, victory.”
9. Do your real life friends know you blog?  How do they respond? They do! I post my posts on my personal Facebook and Twitter. My most faithful readers and supporters are my real life friends. Love them more than anything! 
10. What is your blogging routine (if you have one)?  I wish my “routine” was more of a routine! The one consistent post I post every week is my weekly meal plan on Mondays. I’m mostly consistent with posting it. I’d like to post three times a week. On good weeks my routine involves prepping multiple weekly posts on the weekend to be scheduled to go out the next week. 
11. We all love social media!  Are there any social media links you would like to share so we can follow you? Big social media fan! Twitter: kasialindsay / Facebook (Personal): Kasia.Crider / Facebook Page: kasiaskitchenblog / Pinterest: kasialindsay
12. Name 3 bloggers who have not joined Mississippi Women Bloggers that you would like to see join us! Life on Lawson, The Manuel Family, and A Life Worth Something. 

Several weeks ago The Influence Network did a link up for members to talk about where they are from. I started a post, excited to talk about my wonderful Mississippi, and of course… never finished it to post it! When I realized the link up was closed, I thought about deleting the draft, but decided I still wanted to write about the Hospitality State.

William Faulkner once said, “To understand the world, you must first understand a place like Mississippi.” Mississippi, the birthplace of Elvis, blues, and BB King. Home to cotton fields, magnolia trees, porch swings, riverboats, soul food, sweet tea and southern hospitality. People like to make jokes that Mississippians can’t read. Not only can we read, we’re also pretty darn good at writing too. Tennessee Williams, Eudora Welty, and John Grisham are just a few authors that call Mississippi home. The six degrees of separation theory has nothing on us. My whole life, all 30 years, of being a Mississippian, I’ve never met anyone from my state that didn’t know someone else I know. The whole state has a small town, front porch feel. We were named the Hospitality State for a reason. We name our dips and desserts after mud and sin. We make jellies out of mayhaws, persimmons, and muscadines. No finer sweet tea can be found, no magnolias more frequent, no church potlucks more tasty. Mississippi definitely has its flaws, just like every state, maybe admittedly a little more than some others, but it truly is a great place. Often misunderstood, but worthy of being understood.

I googled Mississippi facts in hopes of including some extra fun info about my state, and learned things even I didn’t know! We’re pretty cool!

Fun Facts about Mississippi: 

• The world’s only cactus plantation is located in Edwards with more than 3,000 varieties of cacti.
• Mississippi has more tree farms than any other state.
• Mississippi has more churches per capita than any other state.
• Pine-Sol is manufactured only in Pearl, MS.
• Four cities in the world have been sanctioned by the International Theatre/Dance Committee to host the International Ballet Competition: Moscow, Russia; Varna, Bulgaria; Helsinki, Finland; and Jackson, Mississippi.
• The first football player on a Wheaties box was Walter Payton of Columbia, Mississippi. 
• The birthplace of Elvis in Tupelo includes: a museum, a chapel, and the two-room house in which Elvis was born.
• On April 25, 1866, women in Columbus decorated the graves of Confederate and Union soldiers in Friendship Cemetery. This gesture became known as Decoration Day, the beginning of what we observe as Memorial Day.
• Shoes were first sold as pairs in 1884 at Phil Gilbert’s Shoe Parlor in Vicksburg.
• Inventor James D. Byrd of Clinton holds seven patents and developed the plastic used as a heat shield by NASA.
• Mississippi University for Women in Columbus was the first state college for women in the country, established in 1884.
• In 1894, Coca-Cola was first bottled by Joseph A. Biedenharn in Vicksburg.
• Belzoni is the Catfish Capital of the World. Approximately 70 percent of the nation’s farm-raised catfish comes from Mississippi.

Tell me about your state! What makes it special? What do you love about it? If you are a fellow Mississippian tell me what you love about it too!