As mentioned yesterday, I’m participating in the #31days challenge to write about a specific(ish) thing for all of October and I have chosen to do a series called Food for Thought. I’ll rotate between talking about ways to make life in the kitchen more manageable and inviting you on the journey with me to actually learn to irrevocably believe God unconditionally loves me.
“Why kitchen?”, is simple! I couldn’t go 31 days without posting about things that happen in my kitchen. I am a food blogger. I love the kitchen. I want you to love it too. Several faithful readers requested time management and practical tips.
But why love?
“Knowing” God loves me has been something I’ve “known” for a long time. Though I didn’t grow up in a Christian home, I did grow up in church. Most children who grew up in church can sing the words, “Yes! Jesus loves me,” before they even know how to read. I’ve known for a while that actually BELIEVING God loves me has been a struggle for a me. I wholeheartedly believe He loves YOU. I just struggle with the concept of unconditional love, self condemnation, and believing that He can and does love me. I KNOW logically, Biblicaly, and in my brain that He does. But I don’t always believe that He does. It’s something I’ve talked through with my former counselor and mentors many times.
I was helping implement an event for women this past weekend with the non-profit women’s ministry organization I’m part of and passionate about, Total Woman U. The theme for our event was Dare to Believe. Even though I was busy with helping make sure the event ran smoothly, I wanted to walk away from the weekend daring to believe something. Little did I know it would be love. One of the simplest things to know and understand about God, but one of the most complex things for me to “get.”
The very last session by the very last speaker had me holding back a total weep fest. She talked about God’s love and her journey of discovering and believing He loved her. She called herself, and all of us, His favorite. She pointed out that John 3:16 doesn’t say, “For God was so fed up with the world, that he gave his only son.” It says, “For God so LOVED the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”
I’ve had that verse memorized for so long that I don’t remember ever NOT remembering it! It never hit me like it did this past Saturday, sitting there, swallowing the lump in my throat to keep from ugly crying, steadily wiping tears from my eyes, as a 30 year old woman. I’ve probably been able to quote that verse for at least 75% of my life. I’ve always been moved by Jesus’ sacrifice in dying for me and God’s sacrifice in giving His only son. And my head has always known it was because He loved me, but in that moment it rocked me to the deepest part of my heart, that HE LOVES ME!
She also said that He loves His children (ME) so much that He even takes our mistakes, failures, and the ways others try to harm us and mean for bad and uses it for good. So love. That’s why. I need to take this journey of daring to believe God loves me. As simple as it is, it’s where I am. I need to process it. I need to live in it. And what better way than the accountability of 31 days? It might be rambly. Some days will DEFINITELY be shorter than this. It might be super honest and raw. Sometimes, it might not even make sense, but I think in the end, it will be beautiful. Thanks for reading.
For the month of October, I’m participating in The Nester’s #31Days blog writing challenge. My topic is Food for Thought. I’ll be writing about two main things. 1. Understanding and believing God’s love. 2. Making life in the kitchen more manageable. You can read all my #31Days posts here.