Mondays

Mondays get a bad rep. I think they deserve it sometimes, but I also think they deserve redeemable chances and for us to not hate them.

Last Monday, I really wanted to be mad at Monday because 1. It was Monday. 2. I was sleepy. 3. It was rainy (which made me sleepier). 4. My hair looked a lot better in my morning pre-coffee sleepiness than it actually did once I got to work and saw it after a cup (or two) of coffee. 5. I didn’t like the breakfast I brought that I just so happened to make FIVE of for the whole week.

I could have stayed there, and I kind of wanted to stay there, but I decided not to. I was reminded that Mondays also bring new mercies – new opportunities to be a good friend, new chances to see the people you encounter every day as souls and not just passersby, new moments to allow the Holy Spirit to use your life as a vessel to demonstrate and declare the Gospel, more shots to encourage the people in your life.

Instead of wallowing in my Monday woes, I prayed for people specifically and by name and told them I did so, hoping to encourage their Mondays. I decided to be open to conversations, interruptions, and interactions. I still wanted a nap, but instead of focusing on the terribleness of the dreaded MONDAY, I found myself only being able to think of the many reasons I have to love my life and my Jesus more despite Mondays, rain, sleepiness, bad hair, and gross breakfast.

This Monday I wanted to wake up REALLY early to go to the grocery store and have Jesus time. I turned off my first two alarms instead of snoozing them and didn’t wake up for grocery store time. I had time for Jesus time which was great, but then I got stressed out about completely silly things that seemed surface at first. When I couldn’t shake them, I dug a little and realized the roots were much deeper and weren’t about the silly surface things at all and actually about some major unbelief issues. I sobbed in my car and then panicked some more. As I walked across campus to acquire the breakfast that I didn’t get at the grocery store, I prayed out loud and hoped no fellow sidewalk walkers would think I was crazy for talking to myself.

I’ll leave out some of the details because I don’t need to share EVERYTHING with you, but my prayers went something like this:

God, please forgive my inability to believe that you are good, gracious, glorious, and great. Help me believe that you ARE good, gracious, glorious, and great in ALL of my life, but right now specifically in all of THIS. 

Remind me that you are good and for our good and that we don’t have to look elsewhere for goodness because it’s all found in you. Remind me that you desire to give us good gifts and want to continue to give us good gifts. Help me trust that goodness is okay and that bad things aren’t always right around every corner and destined to happen. And when bad things do happen, help me remember that your goodness isn’t diminished.

Remind me that you are gracious and that I don’t have to prove myself! This is what I’m struggling with the most today. Remind me and show me that you are gracious and you freely give me grace that I don’t deserve – that I can’t earn your grace or your gracious gifts. Remind me that you have the authority and desire to lavish gracious gifts on us. I don’t deserve it, but I’ve been chosen by you.

Remind me that you are glorious and that I don’t have to fear others. You created us for YOUR glory, not ours. You bless us to bless others for YOUR glory. 

Remind me that you are great and that I don’t have to be in control! Remind me over and over that control IS NOT mine. YOU and you alone are GREAT and in control. Calm the panic and anxiety I feel when I recognize that I’m not in control. I’m not in control of the future, and that’s okay. Let me not go to the worst and bad places and think the worst things will happen, but let me rest and know that I am not in control. You are. And you love me.

Holy Spirit, intercede for me with the words I don’t even know to say. Fight for me. Thank you for these gifts! Forgive me of my unbelief and help me believe.

Monday didn’t miraculously get less “Monday” because I prayed and trusted God with my unbelief. In fact, when I went to the cafeteria a few hours later, I was the Monday-est kind of clumsy. Does anyone else feel clumsier on Mondays?! First, I dropped grape tomatoes from the salad bar on the floor. Next, my to-go box came open and spilled half of the beautiful salad with sticky, wet dressing all over the floor and I had to squat down and clean it all up while wearing a skirt. Then, I literally got hit in the face with the door because I didn’t know it would swing closed so fast. Next, I spilled my drink multiple times on the sidewalk and myself as I walked. Lastly, my to-go box carrying arm got tired so I tried to maneuver a switch between to-go box holding hand and drink holding hand and the box started to flip and fall to the ground and I caught it, spilling more of my drink. BUT, because I got another fresh dose of new mercies and felt the peace of God wrap its arms around me like a secure hug earlier, I just laughed.

I think it’s okay if Mondays (or Wednesdays or Saturdays) are bad days. But I also think it’s okay and a good if we don’t let bad starts or moments turn into bad days or weeks or months or seasons. I think it’s okay and good to fight with everything we have for redeemed Mondays and moments. I think it’s okay and good to ask God and the Holy Spirit to fight the fights we don’t know how to fight and give us new mercies and fresh doses of peace and hearts that belief. And I think it’s okay and good to laugh at the ridiculous moments instead of claiming them as a bad day moment. Mondays deserve second chances and attitudes of gratitude too. And today on this Monday, one of the things I am feeling the most gratitude for is actually a someone I haven’t told you (blog world) about yet.

Meet-Cutes

So… I met a boy! Well, I remet him actually. His name is William and we went to college together and have known of each other for 13-ish years. He thought I was a little weird in college (and let’s be honest, I was and wore wristbands as bracelets and had a different color hair every other week and dressed up in character for a Harry Potter movie premiere we both went to once). I thought he was a little snobby (even though he was one of the 35 college crushes). Needless to say, we didn’t stay in touch, but his sister and I kept up with each other via social media posts. She had apparently been strongly suggesting that he might like me if he read my blog posts and got to know me. He decided to take a chance on the weird girl from college, and because I vowed to do brave things this year, I welcomed it. We started reconnecting, catching up, and getting to know each other. We talked about Jesus, the Gospel, sin, rebellion, and how our stories had been redeemed A LOT. (We also talked about Harry Potter, which as you can assume, I loved.) He read every single one of my 31 People(s) posts + some (what?!).

He realized his sister was right (as a sister to a brother I would just like to add that SISTERS ARE USUALLY RIGHT, listen to them), and asked me out. It’s been a beautiful and fun whirlwind of a surprise! In August, my word for the month was anticipation. I declared in this Instagram post that I was anticipating all the things of the season I love, the end of summer, and a meet-cute. For those of you who think I made up that word, it is defined as “a scene, typically in film or television, in which a future romantic couple meets for the first time in a way that is considered adorable, entertaining, or amusing.” When I was anticipating that said meet-cute, William was nowhere on my radar! He was and is completely unexpected, but I’m overwhelmingly thankful for him every day. He’s funny, wise, quirky, a closet nerd, intentional, confident, bearded, a giver of the best hugs, notices and likes all of my quirks, encouraging, and loves Jesus in a way that inspires me and pushes me to Jesus over and over again.

I’m certain you’ll be hearing lots more about him soon, but today I just want you to know that he exists and is pretty fantastic. This morning when I had my sobbing freaking out panic moment that I confessed to him, these were the things he said to me:

“Who can add a single day of to their life with worry? 

Look at the lilies of the field, even Solomon in all his splendor was not adorned as the lilies were. If God provides for them, the grass of the field that is here today and gone tomorrow, how much more will He provide for us his children?

What father would give his child a snake that asked for a fish? Does not our Heavenly Father want to give good gifts to his children? 

In all things, pray without ceasing. 

I pray the Lord calms your heart and allows you to trust in his providence.” 

And that is all I need to tell you about him today! He loves Jesus and makes me want to love Jesus more. If you’ve been around here anytime, you know that I’ve questioned whether or not I’d be single forever and confessed that I hate dating and that it scares me. Here’s what I know now because of the gift that William is to my life:

None of us are promised that we won’t be single forever, BUT I 100% believe that it is 100% okay for you to be single and want to not be single. I don’t think it’s okay to think your life isn’t or won’t be good if you’re single forever or to feel entitled to not being single, but I think you should continue to fervently bring those prayers and desires to our good, good Father.

The right kind of dating that is the God-honoring, fighting for purity and holiness kind of dating is not scary. It is good and able to bring you closer to God and not further away from Him and stir your affections more for the Creator of the Universe who redeemed your story and another person’s story that is now in your life.

All relationships are messy and refining, but refinement is GOOD.

It really is worth the agonizing hurt and wait and heartache to get to experience the kind of dating that is free of guilt and shame. It really is.

Enjoy your Mondays, give them second chances. Ask for and receive new mercies and fresh doses of peace. Pray for your meet-cutes. Pray for your single friends. Pray for your married friends. Pray for your engaged friends. Pray for your friends in dating relationships. To do so is part of loving them well! All of those things and stages of life are difficult and beautiful for similar and different reasons. Love your life and the people in it even if all the people you want in it aren’t there! The end.