Remember that episode of cops where that lady’s way too young for her boyfriend got arrested for not paying child support so the lady went and lived with the boyfriend’s baby mama and kids. Oh wait.. that’s my mom. Does this game of life have a go back to start box to land on? Ok just kidding. I love many things about my life. And my family has made me who I am. And I do love them, most of them, I think. But I should know that calm never means calm, just means calm before the storm. Serious moment over.
Now to attempt to be slightly funny because the notification of the above mentioned circumstances have put a damper on my I’m in love with the concept of Jim from The Office high and I need to write and make jokes about things (and I meant to not use commas or punctuation and not take a breath til the end, as I would have said it). In light of recent circumstance I’ve decided I am now taking applications. Let me explain the circumstances, before I explain what I am taking applications for.
Circumstance #1: I name inanimate objects. My car, Wentworth. My GPS, Ivy Clara. The pumpkin on my desk, Pete. My blog, Mitch. My owls, Portland, Asa, Ace, Clementine, to name a few.
Circumstance #2: I sleep with a stuffed elephant named Pumpkin.
Circumstance #3: My family is crazy.
Circumstance #4: I have to eat left overs for three days in a row at the least and freeze a portion too, for later use.
Circumstance #5: I make cute little lunches for myself with folded napkins and sandwiches cut in triangles and carrots and graham crackers in ziplock snack bags.
Based on the above mentioned circumstance, I have decided, using logic and reason, that I am now taking applications for a husband and/or kids. Please send all application to The Council (which is also taking applications, though some of you have been inducted into said Council without your knowing due to your valued opinions and the level that you know me and/or how much you love me). Refer all questions to The Council as well. They will be able to inform you if an applicant is suitable or not.
[If you don’t know I’m kidding (at least for the most part, though I can’t say I, I mean The Council, would turn down an application he he) then you don’t know me and should not be reading this blog.]